


Fifty Dollars

by WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken



Series: We either make it, or break it. [8]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Blood and Injury, M/M, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:27:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21562960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken/pseuds/WhyAreAllUsernamesTaken
Summary: Minho loved Jisung.So, so much.But in the end, it had been him who had made the boy think otherwise.And now he found himself paying the price by seeing the boy he loved so much covered in the most horrible shade of red.----------Sequel to‘’Red Means GO’’Minho’s side of the story.
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Series: We either make it, or break it. [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1439083
Comments: 16
Kudos: 129





	Fifty Dollars

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, this is the sequel to ''Red Means GO'' which means that I highly suggest reading that first.  
> You can do whatever you want but it makes things a lot easier to understand.  
> And let's be honest, it's one big cry-fest anyways (for me it is) so just read it and then come back.
> 
> Now playing:  
> Delti Becker - Life Of Scissorhands

_‘’I bet fifty dollars you won’t be able to,’’_

_‘’Oh, I bet I can,’’_

And that’s how it had all started.

Just some stupid bet between him, Changbin and Seungmin and even though they placed bets all the time – about the most stupidest things – it hadn’t felt right. It went too far.

Because Minho wasn’t crazy.

Whenever he crossed the boy in the hallways, he could practically feel the melancholy radiating from him and deep down Minho knew that it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right to bet on something like that and he wasn’t down for – possibly – toying with someone’s feelings.

But he had ignored the feeling anyways because he simply didn’t lose bets and the boy was really cute anyways and with that, he promised himself that he wouldn’t care about what the possible consequences it would have for ‘emo boy’.

Han Jisung.

Minho knew full well what the boy’s name was because everyone at school did. Everyone knew the boy who walked around like he was an empty shell, the boy who kept his head down almost all the time, the boy who sometimes disappeared from classes and never returned, the boy who got shoved into walls and onto the ground, the boy who looked so sweet and innocent with his big round eyes but never once a sign of life in them.

Everyone knew the boy who had once tried to jump from the rooftop of the school, one of his friends getting to him just in time to pull him back.

But bets were bets and Minho couldn’t go around worrying about every individual. Jisung was just one of many and Minho didn’t even know him so who was to say that the boy would be upset about it.

So when he had landed himself in detention one day – getting caught passing a note from this random girl sitting in front of him to the guy behind him – and saw the boy sitting in the back of the room, he had taken the opportunity.

The boy had flinched when Minho had sat next to him, but to Minho’s surprise, Jisung had actually indulged the older by responding to his stupid questions.

Jisung was shy and fidgety and Minho hadn’t been able to wipe that stupid little smile off his face because the more he saw the younger at detention, the more fond he grew of the boy.

It took weeks and weeks but then he had finally seen Jisung smile at him when he entered the detention-room. Minho’s world had come to a grinding halt and for the first time, he had seen stars in the younger’s eyes. There was no distant look, no haziness, no slight frown…

None of it.

And that day, Minho had practically dragged the younger boy to the little playground in front of his house because he had just felt like it and needed to see those stars some more.

The day he first saw Jisung smile turned out to be the same day he heard Jisung laugh, the boy in tears of joy as Minho kept pushing the swing Jisung was on, higher and higher and higher, ignoring the younger’s pleas to slow down.

This quickly became a routine thing for them but after a couple of weeks of doing that, the playground got replaced by Minho’s dorm, the swing replaced by warm blankets and movies and snacks.

More often than not, Jisung would fall asleep with the movie still running and his head on Minho’s chest, softly breathing and a little smile on his face.  
And more often than not, the older would tighten his hold on the boy and lean down to place a soft kiss on his head.

It had come to a surprise to Minho when Jisung had been the one to confess to him first, the boy giggling nervously as he whispered it out while the older was occupied with leaving little butterfly-like kisses on his cheeks.

He had been so convinced that Jisung just saw him as a friend but he was happy that he had been wrong. So Minho had rolled on his back on the bed and pulled the boy on top of him, marvelling at the sound of Jisung giggling some more as the older said the same words back.

Minho was soaring.

He could now call Jisung _his_ and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he wouldn’t go anywhere.

The first time he had really seen what the darkest parts of Jisung’s brain could do to the boy, it was on a regular school day.

They had long gotten rid of the habit of getting into detention and they would meet up at Jisung’s locker at the end of the day instead, so when Minho hadn’t found the boy at said locker, he had been confused.

He knew Jisung’s schedule like the back of his hand by now and knew that they boy should’ve been there, but he wasn’t.

A handful of calls and text later, Minho’s confusion had morphed into a full-blown panic and he had dashed around the school like a madman, calling and calling in hopes of the boy picking up.

It took him almost an half an hour before he had found the boy in one of the bathroom-stalls - the ringtone of Jisung’s phone bouncing off the walls – all curled up on himself as he sat on the floor, squeezed between the toilet and the wooden wall.

Minho had dropped to his knees immediately and pulled on the boy, making him fall forwards into his chest. Jisung had cried painfully and Minho had cried with him, wishing there was something he could do that would stop the agony plaguing _his_ Jisung.

The boy had choked out everything the ‘voice’ in his head was telling him, things Minho never wanted to hear coming from Jisung’s lips.

That he was ugly, that he was a waste of space, how nobody could every truly love him, how weak he was, how fucked up in the head he was, that he should just disappear…

And then the boy had passed out in Minho’s arms, heart-breaking whimpers engraving themselves into Minho’s brain and ready to haunt him at night.

The older had scooped the boy up with shaking limbs and taken him back to his dorm, wrapping him up in as many blankets as Minho could find before pulling the boy back into his arms, shushing the whimpering boy and caressing his cheeks, the boy slowly drifting off to sleep. 

It happened every now and then and every time Minho could feel his heart shatter seeing the boy suddenly so lost and afraid. Jisung’s adorable smiles would be replaced by trembling lips, his breath-taking eyes would be filled with sorrow and pain and those cute chubby cheeks would be soaked with tears.

However, there was only so much Minho could do.

The only thing he _could_ do was hold on to the boy for dear life and tell him over and over again how much he loved the younger, fighting the voices in Jisung’s head with his own and hoping that he was being loud enough for the younger to come back to the present and listen to him.

It was difficult but the effort always payed off. Jisung would get back and melt into him and then things would go back to how they were before. 

One night when he had found himself hoovering over Jisung, shirts long gone and breathing heavily, things had turned for the worst again.

Things had been fine but Jisung had suddenly tensed under his touch, shifting away and when Minho had asked him what was wrong, the boy had burst out crying, whispering to Minho how he never would be good enough and how he couldn’t understand why Minho had even wanted him in the first place.

The words had stung and Minho’s heart had shattered again, his body locking up at the idea of Jisung thinking he wasn’t…well… _everything_ to Minho.

So Minho had fought the voice again and reminded Jisung that he was the most precious person to him, that he was important and oh so ethereal in Minho’s eyes.

Jisung was so beautiful and sweet and had a heart of gold and Minho was sure he had never loved someone as much as the boy laying under him, staring up at him with those gorgeous eyes that sparkled and a faint blush on his cheeks as he smiled at him, the previous doubts now gone.

Minho loved Jisung.

So, so much.

And Jisung loved _him_ , trusting Minho with his everything as he let the older pull him closer and closer until there was no room left, interlocking their fingers as the last bricks of the wall came crumbling down.

And when Minho woke up with Jisung in his arms and the soft sunlight illuminating the boy’s face, he was sure of it.

He was never going to let Jisung go.

But then his birthday party came up.

To be honest, he hadn’t felt like celebrating it with a big crowd – he much more preferred to just relax at home and spend the evening watching dumb movies with Jisung – the younger had insisted.

And that’s how he had found himself chatting to his friends, Jisung stuck to his side with Minho’s arm wrapped securely around the younger’s waist.

To be honest, he had been having fun.

But that was until Changbin had downed another shot, adding to the insane amount he had already taken.

_‘’Congrats bro. Seems like you won the bet. Took you long enough,’’_ Changbin had slurred out, obviously too drunk to think straight.

And Minho had felt the cold sweat on the back of his neck when he saw Jisung looking up at him, big brown eyes screaming confusion.

Before he had been able to stop Changbin from saying even more, Jisung had asked the guy what he had meant by that and Minho’s world came crashing down when Changbin informed him on what the bet was.

Before he knew it, Jisung had stepped to the side and his arm had slipped off the younger’s waist, leaving it hanging next to him awkwardly.

One look at the younger told Minho that he had screwed up. The tears were back and Minho swore he could already see that light - they had worked so hard for to get back - seep away and the boy physically shrunk as he trembled and it was on instinct that Minho had socked Changbin in the face, hissing at him to shut up.

But as he had turned around to grab onto Jisung and explain, the boy was already far out of reach, staring at Minho with his eyes filled with disbelief and as Minho’s lungs were staring to give up on him, Jisung had turned around and ran.

Needles to say, Minho had thrown everyone out after that and spent the rest of the night calling Jisung, trying to prevent himself from having a panic attack while he heaved for air.

Nothing.

And the following morning he had found out the extent of it all.

As soon as Minho had seen the boy, he wished he could turn back time. Jisung had looked horrible and Minho knew it was his fault so he had done everything in his power to get Jisung to understand and accept his apology but he saw in the boy’s eyes that whatever he was saying wasn’t getting through to him.

He had lost Jisung and no matter how hard he had tried, Jisung didn’t come back. Minho called and texted and tried to talk to him but there was nothing left of that light and the only thing Minho could see when he looked in the younger’s eyes was that cold and distant gaze again.

No tears.

No sadness.

Just… nothing.

Empty.

A shell.

And it had been Minho’s fault.

Minho was going crazy. 

He barely slept, he barely ate and more often than not he came back home from school, not really remembering how his day had gone.

The only thing his mind kept replaying was the moments he caught sight of Jisung. He would see over and over again how the boy looked like how he had done before Minho had ever talked to him.

And he tried and tried and tried but at some point he stopped trying because he was getting tired. Tired of getting hurt over and over again and of his mind replaying every memory with Jisung he had, keeping him up for nights on end.

He was never going to get Jisung back, even though he refused to let go of the hope that one day he would.

His phone rung but Minho didn’t bother to lift his head or reach for his phone. The glass of the window was cool against his cheek, helping his mind stay somewhat sharp and he didn’t feel like moving from his place on the window sill.

Ever since things had gone downhill, Minho found himself sitting there at night more often than not, just looking at the cars driving by outside his bedroom window. It took his mind off of things. It took his mind off of Jisung and how much he missed the boy.

He missed his warmth, he missed his giggles and soft cheeks, he missed the boy’s eyes looking at him like Minho was his everything, he missed the sweet kisses and the warm cuddles, he missed how Jisung would laugh at all his jokes, he missed waking up to Jisung buried underneath his blankets, he missed walking the boy from class to class, he missed the boy’s sassy remarks whenever a character in a movie was about to do something stupid, he missed the way the boy would stuff his cheeks with food, he missed the little whines the younger made whenever he wanted Minho’s attention.

He just missed everything.

Minho perked up when he saw a boy walking down the street. From what he could see, the boy wasn’t wearing anything other than a plain t-shirt and a pair of ripped-jeans and for a split second, Minho was convinced that it was Jisung. Especially when the boy seemed to halt right in front of his house.

But then again, he saw Jisung in everyone who even looked the slightest bit like him so he was sure his mind was playing tricks on him again.

The ringing came again - at the same time the boy resumed his way - and Minho tore his eyes away from the window and to his bed instead, the screen of his phone lighting up the room and enabling him to actually _see_ the contours of the furniture in his room.

He still didn’t want to move. His limbs felt heavy and he was tired, but his mind was not letting him get the rest he needed. The last time he had slept over three hours a night was when… well… he didn’t want to think about that because it hurt and it made him feel even more cold than he already did.

The ringing finally stopped and the room was pitch black again, but that only lasted for a couple of seconds when the screen lit up again and the annoying ringtone bounced off the walls for the second time.

Minho let out a sigh when he figured someone really needed to get a hold of him so he swung his legs over the edge of the window sill and slowly got up, trying his best not to sink to the floor as he shuffled his way over to his bed. He let himself fall and ended up on his back, taking a hold of the phone and accepting the call without checking the caller.

‘’Hey, what’s up?,’’

Hyunjin.

Why in heavens name was Hyunjin calling him in the middle of the night?

‘’Nothing much,’’

‘’How have you been?,’’ Hyunjin asked, his voice dripping with sympathy, ‘’We haven’t spoken to each other in a while,’’ 

Now that he heard the guy’s voice, he missed him. Much like all Minho’s – _Jisung’s_ – friends. The group of boys had become just as much his friends as Jisung’s but with everything that had gone down, he wasn’t all that surprised that they disappeared out of his life when Jisung did.

Minho had tried to explain the situation but barely any of them let him, often turning the other way as soon as they spotted the older in the hallway or in the cafeteria, especially when Jisung turned out to be with them. At some point he had managed to catch the guys and even though Minho knew that he was not in a favourable position, he had tried his best to get the boys to listen to him.

They hadn’t let him speak past the ‘it was a misunderstanding’. 

Felix had been furious and had slapped him in the face before getting dragged of by a glaring Jeongin and a teary-eyed Hyunjin, leaving him with Chan and Woojin.

Minho had seen the second-hand hurt and anger, but the two oldest of them all had let him _speak_ and tell his side of the story. It had ended with Chan pulling him in for a hug and trying to get him to stop crying and even though the older guys had commented on how stupid he had been, they said they would try to talk to Jisung about it.

But they never got back to him on that and deep down he knew that they probably hadn’t really tried all that hard. Minho didn’t blame them. He was the reason Jisung had reverted back to listening to the voice and the guys were probably not all that keen to possibly make things even worse by bringing him up.

Over time, Hyunjin seemed to turn around and now he was the one who checked up on him every now and then, asking how he was doing and if he wanted to meet up again. Minho refused every time because it didn’t feel right to do so. He didn’t know why, but he had stopped questioning it a while ago. 

‘’I’m fine, thanks,’’ Minho replied, not even trying to keep the exhaustion out of his voice.

Hyunjin knew he wasn’t all that fine so there was no point in trying to sound like he was and the guy was sensible enough not to point that out.

‘’Minho, I’m really sorry to bother you with this but have you seen Jisung lately?,’’

At the mention of the boy’s name, Minho felt his heart thump uncomfortably and his eyes stung but he managed to blink the access liquid away, ‘’No, why?,’’

The other was silent for a couple of seconds too long for comfort and Minho could already feel the anxiety building up.

‘’He was acting really strange last week and ever since then we haven’t been able to contact him,’’ Hyunjin replied, ‘’Apparently he hasn’t been at school for the last couple of days either,’’

_’’Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going to school anymore’’_

‘’We are getting worried because he really wasn’t acting like himself,’’ Hyunjin continued, his voice trembling enough for Minho to catch up on it.

Minho let out a shaky sigh and ran his hand through his hair, ‘’What do you mean?,’’

‘’Well, he was saying all these mean things and even though we asked what was wrong, he just continued, like he was really doing it on purpose,’’

_’’The voice sometimes tells me to push everyone away and just disappear’’_

Minho’s breath hitched and he could feel his fingers starting to tremble.

‘’Minho?,’’

‘’Y-yeah, sorry,’’

‘’It’s cool,’’ Hyunjin trailed off, ‘’But could you maybe try and see if he picks up your calls? I’m sorry to ask this of you and everyone doubts he will but could you please try?,’’

_’’Sorry. I’ll pick up next time even if I don’t want to’’_

Minho knew that Jisung wouldn’t pick up. He wasn’t even picking up his friend’s calls so there was really no hope.

But he still promised to do so before hanging up.

He scrolled through his contacts with shaking fingers until he finally landed at Jisung’s name, the little heart behind it taunting him. He knew he should have gotten rid of it ages ago but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

And now he had to pay for that decision.

Minho ignored the dull ache behind his ribs and pressed ‘call’, sucking in a deep breath before holding the device to his ear.

Much like he had expected, he got sent to voicemail. He tried and tried and tried but Jisung never picked up.

And that scared him.

With the rising fear overtaking his body, he said fuck it.

Even though Jisung didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, he just needed to know where the boy was and if he was okay.

Fifteen minutes later he found himself heaving for air in front of Jisung’s house, doubled over as he hastily knocked the door.

He was well aware that it was past midnight already but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He just needed to see Jisung alive and well.

The lights in the house got turned on and the rattling of a lock followed, Minho standing up just in time to see the door getting swung open and coming face to face with a sleepy-looking Mr. Han.

‘’Minho? What are you doing here?,’’ the man grumbled out, eyes narrowed as he glared at the boy.

Minho felt the distain radiating from the man but he couldn’t blame him. After all, Minho had been the one to break their son’s heart, whether it was intentional or not.

‘’I’m really sorry to bother you at this hour, but I really need to see Jisung,’’

Mr. Han’s demeanour only grew more hostile and Minho had to try his best not to turn around and run away. He needed to hold his ground, consequences be damned.

‘’First of all, it isn’t very polite to go around waking people up in the middle of the night. Secondly, Jisung is asleep and I’m not going to wake him up just because you want to see him. Thirdly -,’’ the man growled, ‘’I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even want to see you and last but not least, I don’t want you going near my son ever again. Did I make myself clear, Mr. Lee?,’’

That hurt.

That really hurt.

_’’Thank you for loving our boy, Minho. We finally hear him laughing again and we are so grateful to whomever sent you down to make that happen’’_

However, he ignored it and it was on instinct that he pushed the man to the side, slipping into the house and up the stairs.

Mr. Han was cursing loudly and yelling for him to get back and out of his house but Minho couldn’t hear it as he continued his way to Jisung’s room, dashing past a half-asleep Mrs. Han stepping out of the master bedroom as he rushed down the hallway.

He didn’t stop and threw open Jisung’s door, flicking on the light as he stepped into the room.

There was no Jisung.

He took another step into the room and he noticed how tidy the place was and that wasn’t right. He had been in Jisung’s room plenty of times but never had he seen the place without clothing littered around or notebooks messily stacked on his desk.

‘’What do you think you are doing young man?! I’ll call the police if you don’t…,’’

Minho spun around as he heard the man trail off and saw the confusion on the man’s face, ‘’Where is Jisung?,’’

Mrs. Han appeared behind the man and scanned the room quickly, eyes soon widening.

‘’He was here when we went to bed,’’ the woman rushed out, pushing her husband to the side to step into the room.

Minho pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly dialled Jisung’s number again, staring at the two worried adults looking at him.

Then Jisung’s ringtone filled the room and the three snapped their heads to the sound. Minho moved to the desk and pulled open a drawer, finding Jisung’s phone neatly tucked away in a corner.

_’’Call me a crazy, tech-obsessed teen but I really can’t live without my phone. I need it on me at all times’’_

That’s when the alarm-bells in Minho’s head went off and he ran past the adults, almost tripping over his feet as he rushed down the stairs and out of the house. He didn’t know where he was running to but he needed to be quick. Deep down he understood why Jisung wasn’t it his room, why said room was so tidy, why Jisung hadn’t gone to school, why Jisung seemingly shut his friends out…

Jisung was trying to disappear.

The boy.

Minho halted as he came to the realisation that the previous Jisung he had seen passing his house had been the real Jisung and not some fucked up imagination.  
So with that he resumed his run back to his own house, not even stopping to apologize to the random person he bumped into.

His lungs were burning and his stomach churned when he finally came to a stop in front of his house. 

Jisung had gone right and Minho hoped that he was able to catch up with the boy before he did something stupid.

He ran and ran and prayed to anyone who would listen to help him find the boy, help him find Jisung safe and sound at some park or playground or café.

The intersection came into sight.

He rushed over to the pedestrian crossing to get to the other side of the road.

And that’s when he finally saw him.

Minho’s body decided to freeze and he hated it because Jisung was just standing there, a couple of meters away and looking at the traffic-light, shivering.  
It was only then that he recognized where they were exactly and it freaked him out.

_‘’You know hyung, I’m actually really scared of this intersection’’_

At the time, Minho had asked the boy what he had meant with that – because who’s afraid of an intersection? – but when he had done so, Jisung had just stared at the road and ignored his question, flashing him a smile before tugging at his arm to get moving.

Time just passed as Minho found himself stuck in place, his mind wandering off to the most bittersweet imaged of the Jisung laughing, eyes twinkling and the sound of giggles and adorable whines echoing in his head.

But then someone bumped into him and Minho got pulled back to reality, a quick glance at the phone in his hand informing him he had been spacing out for almost forty minutes. 

And Jisung was – fortunately – still standing in front of him.

‘’Jisung? What are you doing?,’’ Minho managed to squeeze out.

The boy turned around and the older could see his muscles tense and big round eyes darting over his face. 

He was genuinely confused as to why Jisung was just standing there. 

‘’You’ve been standing there for thirty-five minutes,’’

Minho took a step closer on instinct when Jisung let out a baffled ‘What?’, clearly indicating that the younger had lost track of time and wasn’t really present.  
He took another step when he saw the younger shiver again, trying to get closer because he _needed_ to make sure the boy was okay. Jisung mimicked him, but went to opposite way instead, taking a step backwards and closer to the road.

And Minho figured out what Jisung was trying to do and he could already taste the bile on his tongue and his head pounding from the adrenaline that was starting to seep into his veins. 

‘’Sungie, why don’t we talk somewhere else? You’re standing too close to the road and you’re not wearing your jacket,’’ he tried but Jisung’s eyes seemed to harden at that and Minho made a half-assed attempt not to wince.

He hated it when Jisung looked like that.

He hated it when he got reminded of the fact that Jisung was already way past the point of feeling.

Empty.

So, so empty.

‘’Minho,’’ the boy suddenly spoke, voice laced with venom, ‘’Just go,’’

Before Minho could say something, the boy took another step back and threw his head around to look at the – what he assumed – was the traffic light again and he knew he really needed to do something.

He took another hurried step forward but Jisung caught him doing so and stepped back again, ending up standing on the road now.

‘’Sungie! What are you doing?!,’’

Minho had trouble breathing now. His lungs weren’t working properly and no matter how desperately he tried his brain to focus on his oxygen-intake, they weren’t listening.

‘’Don’t call me that, Lee,’’ the boy in front of hissed back as he took another step, his eyes going hazy for a slit second.

The older didn’t know what to do. Jisung was really doing this and he could not let that happen. He had lost Jisung before – in the figurative way – and he was not going to be able to handle the boy being gone, forever. Not like that.

It was as if the weight of the world was on Minho’s shoulders and it crushed him, trying to hold him down into place and his whole body started to hurt under the pressure, making him aware of how hard his heart was beating in his chest. 

He wanted Jisung to live, to be happy even if he needed someone other than Minho to make that happen. Minho would do anything to give Jisung that chance and he was prepared to move to the other side of the world if that meant that the younger was going to be okay.

But deep down he was selfish enough to feel hurt by the idea of someone else making Jisung laugh and smile, of someone else making his eyes sparkle and giving him gentle kisses.

And the words had left his lips before he could stop them.

‘’I love you, Jisung,’’ 

He hoped that it would make Jisung second-guess what he was trying to do. He hoped that Jisung understood the sincerity and that the tears that had now started streaming down his face told the boy how _much_ he loved him.

‘’Good for you. I don’t,’’

And that hope got crushed just like that even though he wondered if Jisung meant that he didn’t love himself or that he didn’t love Minho. Either way, the older was out of options.

That got confirmed when Jisung turned around and Minho knew that they were past the point where he needed to be cautious about approaching the boy.

His feet carried him forward and the world grew completely silent as he neared Jisung, desperately reaching out to grab the boy and drag him off the road and into his arms.

The slow-motion set in when he briefly followed Jisung’s line of sight and saw a car coming from the left.

He was close. He was so incredibly close but right at the moment he could feel the fabric of Jisung’s flimsy shirt on his fingertips, the boy threw himself forward and out of Minho’s reach again.

In his despair, Minho heard himself scream something but it got lost in the sound of the car slamming the brakes.

And he thanked human instinct when his eyes screwed themselves shut without Minho having to ask them to do so and he recoiled back at the same time, almost tripping over the uneven tiles of the pavement.

He was glad he didn’t see.

But the sound.

Minho could _hear_ the tires of the car screech and the impact and he didn’t have to open his eyes to know what had happened.

His eyes flew open again when every noise disappeared and a sob wrecked his body when he spotted the boy he loved so much, laying in the middle of the road with his eyes closed and blood trickling down his temple and from his mouth.

‘’J-Jisung?,’’ he heard himself whimper as his legs pushed him forward.

This wasn’t real.

It was all fake.

‘Sungie? Open your eyes,’’ He followed up as he stumbled forward, ignoring the screams of a handful of people around him, ‘’T-this isn’t funny,’’

The moment he reached the boy, his legs gave out and his knees landed on the asphalt with a painful thump, but that was the least of Minho’s worries.

He scrambled forward on all fours to close the remaining distance and his throat closed up when he observed the cuts and blood littering Jisung’s body, painting a horrible picture that Minho was sure would never leave.

With trembling fingers he reached out and he didn’t hesitate to run his fingers trough the boy’s hair, not noticing how he only spread the blood even more, staining his own hand in the process. 

‘’Please, please…,’’

Blood.

There was just so much blood.

Minho hated blood.

He managed to pull Jisung up and into his lap - even though his brain yelled at him not to touch the boy in case his neck or back was broken -, cradling the boy in his arms as he felt himself fall into a dark, dark pit of despair and sorrow, feeling the last bits of his sanity slip through the cracks of his shattered heart.

Help.

He needed help.

Jisung needed help.

They needed help.

Someone needed to come and help Jisung because Minho couldn’t live without Jisung.

‘’I love you. I love you so, _so_ much so please wake up,’’ he yelled as he started rocking the boy.

Minho’s hand landed on the other’s cheek and he carefully caressed Jisung’s skin, shivering when his fingers turned more and more red while doing so.

He watched how his tears dripped onto the boy’s face and how the transparent liquid mixed with the blood before they slid down Jisung’s jaw.

‘’S-sungie,’’

Nothing.

He let out another sob and heaved the boy up, Jisung’s head rolling unto his shoulder and Minho whimpered when his hand landed on the side of the boy’s neck. He could not feel a pulse.

‘’Baby, please come back,’’ he cried out as he buried his face into Jisung’s neck, the blood on his hands and arms almost causing the younger to slip out of his grip.

He tried to breathe but it was as if his lungs had given up on him, like they refused to do their job and keep Minho _alive_.

Even though Minho knew he had tried the best he could, something in his brain mocked him, saying that it was his fault and that he had drove Jisung to his death.  
It was his fault.

‘’I’m sorry, I’m sorry,’’ Minho cried out, tightening his hold on the boy in his arms, ‘’I’m so sorry!,’’

He was aware of the black dots dancing in front of his eyes but he refused to acknowledge them and continued to rock Jisung in his arms, screaming when he felt himself getting drenched more and more in something weirdly sticky and warm, chilling him to the core.

It wasn’t real.

But the stabbing in his chest told him otherwise and he just screamed and screamed and at this point he couldn’t see the boy in his arms clearly anymore but the cuts on his face and the blood smeared across his cheeks made their way past the blurriness and Minho could only describe it as pure agony.

The dots became too much and soon Minho felt himself sway, but he couldn’t _leave_ Jisung alone.

The choice was out of his hands soon enough and as he felt himself slump over, he whished that he would wake up in his bed with Jisung safely tugged away in his arms.

But when he woke up in the hospital instead, more than eighteen hours later, he understood that his Jisung was gone and would never come back.

Jisung was gone.

And it had been Minho’s fault.

That’s what the voice in his head told him.

And Minho listened.


End file.
